Rose's secret love
by XxxLostOnexxX
Summary: Rose sees Taylor Lautner. And let's just say....Dimitri's not too happy about her reaction
1. Hot Dog

"Oh my God!" Rose yelled.

"What!? What is it!?" Dimitri asked

"It's Taylor Lautner!"

"So?" Dimitri asked disgusted.

"He's _hot._"

"He's a _dog._"

" A _hot _dog." she smiles. "Ha ha. Get it? _Hot dog._"

"No." he stares at her. "And men don't sparkle either. What is up with all this Twilight sh-"

"Twilight is _awesome! _And Robert Pattinson is hot too!"

"He _sparkles_! Vampires don't sparkle! Humans don't sparkle! And werewolves don't have chocolate brown eyes!"

"Bitch."

"Excuse your Twilight loving ass?"

"Just kidding."

"I am _leaving_. Just like your sparkly vampire! Except this time, I ain't coming back and proposing to you! I'm gonna go find my _own_ Bella while you go try and figure out if sparkle boy over here can read your mind!"

NOTE: We are Twihards!! Even though one of us in Team Edward and the other is Team Jacob!!


	2. Tshirt Time!

**Tabitha: OMGIZZLE can you believe we are back for another chapter! **

**Yaireth: Oh yeeeah! Hope you guys think it's awesome. Oh yeaaaah. T-shirt time! **

**Tabitha: Omg It **_**IS**_** t-shirt time! I'm so mad Dimitri just walked out last chapter but Rose was being a little tweck**

**Yaireth: I think it was halarrrious. Anyway let's get on with this story before people start to get bored. **

_**I'm feeling like a star you can't stop my shine , I'm loving cloud nine my head's in the sky I'm solo I'm riding solo…..**_

Dpov

"Omg I cannot believe Rose would be such a douche nugget to me. Liking stupid Jacob. Seriously does he own a shirt? And Edward! Okay what does that princess have that I don't *inner thoughts: He sparkles* Okay yeah whatever real men don't sparkle and real vampires are supposed to get weak or burn and die like strigoi!"

Christian stares at him. "You poor boy. So many problems. And anyway why do you care about those idiots. We're cooler."

Lissa walks in wearing a Team Switzerland shirt. "Heys guys!"

Dimitri looks at Christian. "Like I said. Idiots."

"What?" Lissa said confused.

"Nothing." Christian smiles.

"Look I gotta go to my emo corner now I'll see you later when it's t-shirt time Christian." Dimitri walked away looking depressed.

"And now. What is _that_?" Christian looks at Lissa's shirt.

"A shirt?"

"Don't play dumb you cheater. I can't believe you and Rose are like obsessed with those fake stupid mythical-"

"Don't say it! I will kill you."

"CREATURES."

Lissa glares at him. "If I had fire powers you'd be blown up by now."

"Well you don't so ha."

"You know I can always control your inner most thoughts and force you to do my bidding. Bitch."

"Who's the one in love with a guy who doesn't know what a shirt is and one that sparkles like a flipping princess fairy."

"Hey! You DO NOT hate on my boys Rose totally agrees."

"Rose also thought _Jesse Zecklos _was hot."

"So? He was."

"You know what? Not one time have I ever heard you say, 'Hey Christian you look really handsome today or oh my god Christian your so sexy'. No! You never tell me that and I always tell you your beautiful even when in the mornings you have morning breath and you try to kiss me! It's gross! You see that dinner on the table I slaved and slaved over it while you're at work! I even missed _Oprah_! _OPRAH _of all shows! The cast of jersey Shore was on! Do you know how many lessons Oprah AND the jersey shore kids have taught me! They get me through _LIFE_!"

Lissa's crosses her arms angrily. "You hurt my feelings. I hate you."

"I hurt _your _feelings. What about me? Your drooling over some dude that isn't your boyfriend and _I'm_ hurting your feelings?"

"I'm not _drooling_." She said wiping her mouth.

"Right. Whatever."

"Ugh. Your so mean. Haven't you ever heard of celebrity crushes?"

"Yes I have. But I hate Jacob and Edward. Their STUPID women stealers. Dimitri's heart is broken and still you two are determined to keep going at it!"

"Ohh, guess what?" Lissa jumped up.

"Don't change the subject."

"It's T-shirt time!"

Dimitri walks through the door. "It's t-shirt time!"

Jacob suddenly appears on the scene. "It's t-shirt time!"

The television blows up.

"You…do…not…sing…that song." Christian sneers. "You don't know the definition of t-shirt time and I will kill you for stealing my girl!"

"Oh Lissa!" Jacob calls, running out the door. "Until your heart stops beating!"

Edward suddenly busts through the door, "Bel-I mean Rose don't make me change you! I won't be able to live with my masochistic, moody, emo self!"

"Who in the hell asked you to change me! And into what! A fairy princess like you! Hell to the no trick. I already have a man, and he is a sexy Russian Cowboy!"

"I have forgotten we aren't in Twilight. Well…I don't know what comes next…" he walks slowly to the door. "Yo Jacob get your furry ass over here and let's roll!"

"Oh Yeeeah!" Jacob came running, Christian behind him. "Lissa, my love! I will always love you! I love you and I want you to choose him instead of me! Wait….LINE! What is my line! No one tell me! I got this: I want you to choose me instead of him…yeah me instead of him. What now suckas!"

"Excuse me but that's my girlfriend!"

"Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, _bitch_!"

"Oh please. You're such an idiot. Go run off with your lover."

"Jacob!" Edward barked.

"Coming!" Jacob called and gave one last glance at Lissa. "Until we meet again, my love! Let's get the fuck outta here, sparkles."

"Really?" Edward asks as they walk down the hall together. "I thought we were past that."

"Sorry. I forget we're homies now."

And together they walk off into the sunset or hall way or…whatever you want to call it.

"Oh my Russian cowboy! Do you forgive me!

"Yes my sweet flower!" He called back, "Christian! It's T-shirt time!"

"Oh yeaahh."

"Please forgive me my fiery dove!" Lissa pleaded.

"Perhaps insolent one. But as of right now I must embark on the most epic of epic t-shirt times!"

"I will wait for you my sweet dove…I shall always wait." She said in a whisper.

"So long!"

He starts to walk off and then-

"Just kidding. We should really stop talking like this. How about we all go get something to eat?"

"Oh yeeeah!" Everyone yells. "T-shirt time!"

"Let's go get some thacos!" Rose yelled.

"Oh yeahhh!" Everyone yelled


End file.
